we made out on top of his cat.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
