That's intense
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
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