I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
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