My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Randomize
