how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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