i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
