It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
