I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Randomize
