dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
this must be what syphilis tastes like
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
I got inside last night via doggy door
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Randomize
