hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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