My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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