You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
It's Friday. Sex?
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
