I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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