I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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