I am puke
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Randomize
