Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
i permit you to call me
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
I'm really busy with my period
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