I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
