Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
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