Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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