For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
