i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize
