have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
I've blown a few things in my day
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
