hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
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