he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
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