I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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