I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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