this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
