I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Randomize
