She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
