So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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