so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Randomize
