I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
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