So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
