wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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