I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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