I just saw a hot homeless man
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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