Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Randomize
