PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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