i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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