Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
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