Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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