Screwed.edu
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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