Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Randomize
