Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Randomize
