No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
My ass is underappreciated
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
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