ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
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