I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
Randomize