The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Randomize