Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
