Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
There's even glitter on my cock...
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