what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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