I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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